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EROTU'S MUSE'S

Humor has always been an interest of mine. I have enjoyed it in it's many forms. Many times I come up with thoughts, or see things that I just want to share with people. My friends have enjoyed many of these things for years. Now, with the help of this website, I can share some of those things with you.

Some are original, some are things I've seen or heard. But no matter what they are, I hope you enjoy them.

July 16, 2006

How many times did your mother say to you, "I only have 2 hands." Do you think if another live form had 8 hands, they would be telling their children, " I only have 8 hands."

July 17, 2006

Last night my girlfriend asked me how to tell if sour cream has gone bad. Well, when something sweet goes bad, it turns sour. So I guess when sour cream goes bad, it turns sweet. Makes sense to me.

July 18, 2006 (well actually 7 minutes into the 19th)

I have always been a firm believer that 2 wrongs don't make a right. But 3 lefts do.

July 19, 2006

Sometimes you have to be careful how you say things. There are things we say all the time, but we never stop to think exactly what we are saying. A little while back, a friend of mine (Byron) needed to pick his brother up at his house. He told me, "I'm going to run over and pick up John." I told him, 'Byron, if you don't run him over, you probably won't have to pick him up afterwards."

July 24, 2006

Whew doggies (as Jed Clampet would say)! I've been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. So I've missed a few days. What can I say, we've all been there. So today I'll post a poem I wrote about 15 years ago. " Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he takes two weeks off from work to go on a fishing trip!" Okay, it's not really a poem, but I don't know what else to call it.

July 26, 2006

Restaurants are a great place to have fun if you actually listen to what the waiter says. I love giving them answers they don't expect. Next time you order breakfast somewhere, listen to the questions they ask you. If you order eggs, 99% of the time the waiter will ask you, "How would you like your eggs?" I always answer (in a very deadpan delivery), "Cooked!"

Steak is another good one. Order a steak and they ask, "How would you like that cooked?" My answer, "With some kind of a heat source, like fire or a hot grill." Then I will put my hands out together (like you were praying) and rub them back and forth quickly (like you were using a stick to light a fire) and say, "Don't bother using the friction method. It takes too long and messes up the meat."

They ask the same kind of questions at the grocery store too. When you get to the register, about half the time they will ask, "Did you find everything okay?" That's when I point to the all the shelf's and say, "Well, yeah, it's all over there. Unless you have something hidden I didn't know about."